Christmas Day, NB-Ay!

Despite the unfavorable final two minutes in the NBA marquee match-up on Christmas day, which included way too much Pau Gasol, way too many times Tony Allen thinking he could score the basketball & too many bad calls by Steve Jaffe & crew, NBA Christmas day is/was AWESOME. Five games in one day! The first sucked, I watched about 7 minutes of Orlando & New Orleans, then 11 minutes of Phoenix & San Antonio, then 46 minutes of Boston & Los Angeles, then 32 minutes of Cleveland & Washington, with one more game to go, Portland & Dallas (All times are real life time , not game time, nice clarification right?). A lot of basketball to watch in between opening presents, playing with presents, a family movie (Wanted, not good & not a family movie), trying to fix Lily's new cell phone & a long large family Christmas dinner get together. The best part of the NBA action of course has to be Craig Sager with his sweet Frosty tie, all the ridiculous outfits of inactive players & new basketball shoes!!! Shout out to BC and his awesome Christmas day NBA post & all of his web links.
Gilbert Arenas for one was wearing an ascot, which is just awesome. Sam Cassel looked ugly as always & looks like he should remain a coach. And some dude on the Cleveland bench was wearing a red velvet suit!
The end of the Spurs & Suns game was sick with Roger Mason burying a three with time expiring when the Spurs were down two. I have watched a few Spurs games this break & find them much more likeable & easier to watch. They are playing players everyone hates – Bowen, Udoka & Oberto – less, giving way to Mason, Matt Bonner & George Hill. Pop’s beard helps a lot because it is awesome, he is awesome & he is my favorite NBA coach because every time they do a Mic’d Up segment with him, he is funny. Manu is also so good. With that said, they are still pretty boring, Tim Duncan still has Dungeons & Dragons tattoos & shoots bank shots. I was still rooting for Phoenix because they have Sun Tzu!! Speaking of Amare his sneaks were amazing:


So were Sugar Ray Allen’s & all of the Celtics with their red laces. Pau’s were gross & purple, but Lamar, Trevor & Bynum all had the kind of ugly kind of cool yellow & orange hyperdunks. Kobe broke out the low-tops, which looked better on George Lopez when they showed him on TV. Rajon was rocking some Blue Chip low-tops, not that great, but Big Baby’s hyperdunks made up for them. Nick Young has some great hyperdunks, too. But Brandon Roy & LaMarcus Aldridge, as I watch the game right now, may have the coolest sneaks all day. New sneaks like these are usually revealed during the All-Star game, but the NBA provided a nice surprising present on a for the most part great Christmas day of basketball.

Evaluating The Kicks

All the hype surrounding the new Kobe IV low-top sneakers has got me thinking about sneakers even more thna I usually do. First, they aren’t true low-top’s like a Chuck T shoe; second, he isn’t going to get hurt in them; third, Steve Nash already wears “low-top’s” when he plays! When I watch a basketball game, I look out for dunks & no look passes like everyone else, but also I make sure I know how each player wears their socks and what kicks they are rocking. Ever since the Jordan era lots of basketball fans have become obsessed with sneakers. It is unbelievable to me how many of Jordan’s shoes were fire when you look at modern stars today like LeBron and Dwyane Wade wearing some pretty ugly shoes. Kobe’s, for the most part, rocks cool and unique looking sneakers, although I am not the biggest fan of him or his newest sneaker. So, what I plan to do is review the current sneakers that are circulating through college basketball & the NBA. They will be all Nike shoes, because other brands are boo boo, and they are all available at Eastbay.com, yo.Lebron IV: Just pure ugliness. For $140 I don’t think anyone really is going to purchase this sneaker. LeBron James is the best player on the planet, and maybe someday ever, and Nike cant design a decent sneaker for him? They have all been ugly except maybe for the LeBron IV, but these!, no one is wearing them in any rank of basketball except LeBron himself, and for good reason.
The Hyperdunk: A very popular shoe this summer and still throughout the NBA, with many players rocking them such as the great Rudy Fernandez & Nene, but most importantly Amare. Kobe of course sported them and jumped over a moving car in them. A way better alternative than any LeBron shoe, as they come in an assortment of colors although my favorite is the one pictured. They are light, Kael Kristof wears them, and they appeal to the vegetarian basketball players!
The Powermax: Again way too ugly. Carlos Boozer when he plays and Tyson Chandler rock the Powermax’s, but they have had injury problems all year so maybe they should switch shoes. They look good here on the Nike website, but no one should really be buying the ones available on the Eastbay website because they are terrible. They are a big man’s shoe as Varejao and Big Z are wearing them in the Cavs-Nuggets game right now, and you don’t see any cool quick guards wearing these massive kicks.
Blue Chip: Probably the best sneaker out there right now because of who wears it, the look, the price, and the coolness. You have seen the ads if you watch basketball with the young studs in the NBA, All-Cool Team Starting SG Brandon Roy who dropped 52 the other night, Deron Williams & cool dude Rudy Gay all having their own pairs. I might pick me up a pair, I only wish they were customizable on Nike ID. The picture doesn't do the Blue Chip justice.
The Huarache: Not available on Eastbay anymore for some reason but you should definitely cop these or create your own on NikeID. They have been out for a little while now, but are definitely one of the cooler shoes out there, worn by players such as LaMarcus Aldridge (I’ve been watching a lot of Blazers games lately). They may be the best looking of the basketball shoes listed here and definitely can be worn when you are heading to the club with Cheddar Bob Plaxico.

The All-Cool Team Starting Five

OK, so this is the starting 5! When I return to the United States of America I promise (because I will be mad bored) to give you the 10 or so bench players and maybe coaches. Other topics of interest to look forward to are my possibly ridiculous assertion that LeBron James will be better than Michael Jordan, and in-depth look into the players MJ was going up against after his return to the league to make my point. So stay tuned bro! Now, though, I introduce to you the starting five for the All-Cool Team this 2008-2009 NBA season:

Point Guard: Baron Davis (Los Angeles Clippers)
Baron pretty much single-handedly inspired the idea of an All-Cool Team after he led his Warriors in the epic playoff series against the Mavericks. Well, and of course his beard too. Since then Baron has become a superstar. Baron went to one of the cooler teams in the league this off-season, the Los Angeles Clippers who are cool because the have always been so bad and no one actually cares about them. Things looked so good with Elton Brand set to sign a contract and at least with the two of them make the playoffs and see what happens. Instead, Elton was like naw Boom-Dizzle, got to go to Philly and the Eastern Conference for more money bro, good luck signing Marcus Camby. The Clippers did do that and after some pre-season hype have started the season terribly. Winning matters little to the All-Cool though. So, with that intro to Baron let’s talk about all the cool things about him. Look at the picture; look at the style on the court. He rocks the red. white, & blue so well, has his own shoes with a number one on them, two pairs of socks of different appropriate lengths, a headband, and that stretching thing. Off the court, he is cooler; he rocks The Hundreds and looks fresh when he watches the Lakers in the playoffs. He is all over the Internet. He has his own blog (http://www.yardbarker.com/users/barondavis), doesn’t update it too often, I mean all the cool bloggers don’t really. Calls himself Boom-Dizzle on it, then has another site where he just makes videos and is currently engaged in a Skit Competition with Chris Bosh of the Toronto Raptors, who made a Samurai video! He made this video with Steve Nash this summer, which made me like both them infinite amounts. I’m sure he is the greatest person in the world to be friends with and someday I hope I run into him in Los Angeles and we become besties! Until then though, Boom always has a place on the All-Cool Team, this year taking the role of ultimate floor general making sure to spread the coolness around and keep everyone looking fresh.

Shooting Guard: Brandon Roy (Portland Trail Blazers)
This is without a doubt, a hundred million percent for sure Brandon Roy’s year. Like a breakout superstar amazingly awesome good year, because that is what he is, people know him and love his game, but everyone should because he is filthy good. Two problems: Greg Oden isn’t good as he somehow doesn’t score the basketball & the Blazers are starting or play Steve Blake & Joel Przybilla way too much. But, the Blazers everyone knows will be great for many years because they have so many awesome cool young guys: Bayless, Batum, LaMarcus & Rudy Fernandez. Back to B-Roy, he won the starting spot on the All-Cool Team for his performance against the Rockets: this clip is still fun too watch. He hit two huge shots in the final ten second & committed a terrible foul, obviously making up for the foul by making an impossible rainbow shot. Only problem I have with him is that the celebration was lacking, no beating of his chest, maybe he isn’t self-absorbed like some players, which may be a good thing, but isn’t the best thing for this team. All he does is pull up his jersey and yell “Fuck man!” or something like that. Needs a little work. As far as style goes, he’s always got a fresh haircut, I like his sock length and he definitely rocks some nice kicks. The Blazers jersey is pretty sick too; I’d like to have an old Rasheed Wallace Blazers one ya dig?
Small Forward: Paul Pierce (Boston Celtics)
PP34 was amazing in the playoffs & when he went down with his “injury” in Game 1 of the NBA Finals, I was so upset because the series was over if Paul couldn’t play. Everyone knows the story, PP pulled off the Willis Reed, coming back later in Game 1, sparking a Celtics run and eventually leading them over the Lakers to win the NBA Championship making me sooooo happy!! Also important to mention how huge Paul was in Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals when he out did the best played in the NBA, LeBron James, in an amazing fourth quarter. This year, the Celtics lead by Paul Pierce, the self-proclaimed best player in the league, look good and look like they have something to prove. They want to win another one and win every game they play, lknowing every team they play is coming after the defending champs. The highlight of the short NBA season so far for the Celtics and All-Cool Team starting Small Forward Paul Pierce is his game winning buzzer beater to beat the at the time very decent Atlanta Hawks. How good does Joe Johnson look? Good! Back to PP, the buzzer beater wasn't no B-Roy but still it was so clutch, so smooth, so beautiful, so yummy!! Paul has always been so deceptive because he looks fat, but somehow has a good quick first step, can finish with both hands, and shoots real well. Definitely not the best player in the NBA, but he is often overlooked & I respect the confidence he has, because he outplayed some people’s proclaimed best NBA player – Kobe Bryant – in the NBA Finals. Paul’s shoes have never been that impressive, but he wears those weird shin guard things some times, and always got that headband and “The Truth” wristband which I like.
Power Forward: Al Jefferson (Minnesota Timberwolves)
Al Jeff isn’t the coolest due out there, no fresh kicks and no mid-calf socks, but he is a beast on the court. He is undersized height wise, but his Kevin Love like girth helps him hold his own. He is putting up 23 & 10 so far this season for one of the worst teams in the league, the Timberwolves, who for some insane reason decided to change uniforms this season even though the had some of the best ones last year. They also have Kevin McHale running everything and traded O.J. Mayo for Kevin Love (who I actually like too, outlet pass!). Al is the only really good player they have right now and they have a lot of young guys with some potential: Corey Brewer, Randy Foye, & K-Love. Not a bunch of cool big guys roaming around the NBA, there are some weirdos like Robert Swift, but there aren’t actually a grip of talented & cool ones. Al takes the role for now.
Center: Sun Tzu Stoudemire (Pheonix Suns)
Officially, without a doubt in my mind, the absolute coolest player of all in the NBA, first let’s start with the nick name: "Sun Tzu,'' Stoudemire said. "His motto is, the way he prepares for battle, he uses deception. So, like, let's say we go out to play a game, right, and the New Jersey Nets say Amaré can't go to his left; he's going to go right. But I know what they're thinking, that I'm going to go right. So I go left… because I'm a master of deception.” Amazing. Perfect. Cool. Second, the brief stint of Antoine Carr Oakley sunglass looking goggles. If he had kept them for the rest of the season or like suggested the rest of his career, I wouldn’t know what to do because it would be so fucking awesome. Thirdly, Sun Tzu, unlike the trend to go to the Ray-hawk full Mohawk thing that Rudy Gay got, stuck with the convention hip hop Mohawk getting it on his birthday and keeping him looking fresh. Fourthly, he continues, as always, to rock the freshest shoes and keeps his socks at the perfect height, sometimes even wearing two pairs of long ones to ensure that they look good. Lastly, maybe most importantly he is an abslute beast on the basketball court. He, along with LeBron, is superhuman. He gets up so quickly and dunks so viciously and always finishes and never gets blocked and never misses a lob and looks so ridiculously awesome dunking on anyone and everyone. He can take it to the basket and dunk on Jeff Foster, he can shoot the mid range j a little too, if he worked on his 3-ball supposedly he could hit that with consistency. He is a good free throw shooter, far better than Dwight Howard, and just amazes me every time I see a highlight or game because he is amazingly, disgustingly good. He is without a doubt in the LeBron, Kobe, D-Wade, CP3, Top 5 discussion and probably doesn’t get enough notoriety for it. Him & Chris Bosh as free agents in 2010 should be interesting along with that other dude that the Knicks threw away two seasons to maybe get even though they were doing exponentially better than last season with Mikey D coaching.

Rays & Phils, Yay!

I hate Matt Garza. I hate the Rays stupid mohawks. Wow, so awesome when everyone on your team gets them even your manager, Joe Maddon. Grow some playoff beards. I hate that the World Series is featuring the Tampa Bay Rays & Philadelphia Phillies. I hate the Rays. I don’t want Philadelphia to win a championship in any sport, so I’m torn. Who’s going to win? The Rays. Psycho Matt Garza versus Jamie Moyer is the match up for Game 3 & 7 (if necessary!), shouldn’t even be close. The Rays destroyed Tim Wakefield knuckleballs at Fenway. The Rays are going to destroy Jamie Moyer little league fastballs in Citizens Bank Park where Ryan Howard hits 30 pop-ups to left field that end up being home runs a year.
I didn’t watch Game 1 or 2, not because I’m not over the Red Sox losing, but because I don’t care. Or because I’m not staying up till 5 AM to watch them in Scotland. Each team has cool players. B.J. Upton & Evan Longoria look like they are going to be the best players ever for the next million years and David Price too. B.J. Upton’s stupid mohawk however is exceptionally terrible as is Carl Crawford’s. Shane Victorino is the man and does everything well. Chase Utley said “Boo, fuck you!” to New York Yankees fans at the All-Star Game. That is CJ-Raw’s favorite clip. Weirdest thing about the Rays besides everyone thinking Joe Maddon is the greatest manager ever even though he sucks, is the Rocco Baldelli and Gabe Gross right fielding situation. Rocco can only sprint four times a game, but is infinitely better than Gabe Gross who did everything he could to help the Red Sox win the best comeback like ever, Game 5 of course. Rocco of course killed the Red Sox in Game 4 & 7, and fielded fly balls hit to him. Anyways, Rays & Phillies, don’t care. Don’t care that Jimmy Rollins leaves 11 guys on a game. The only way I’m watching a game is if the Phillies have a chance to win the series and waiting for the celebration and the slight chance manager Charlie Manuel (pictured) tries to chest bump someone else.
Am I bitter about the Red Sox? Sort of because I hate the Rays a lot right now, but they just didn’t have the same feel this year, they weren’t really good. Like the Phillies, the Sox weren’t good. They didn’t even have a good series. Josh Beckett & David Ortiz hurt, Manny clearly gone, this years team was so weird and sooooo different. Kevin Youkilis, Dustin Pedroia, & Jon Lester were the big three this year. The Angels & Rays were better teams really.

Bill Walker already has two YouTube worthy clips and it is only the pre-season!!!!! Posterizing Theo & Fighting T-Mac

No One On The Corner Has Swagga Like These Cool Cats

Too many cool things are happening. I can’t keep up, I’m overwhelmed with cool. I need a solution and I’ve found it. Write more often! I hypocritically called out my blog contributors for not writing enough last time I posted, which was pointed out to me by loyal All-Cool Team reader So Moto. So how can I not write about the Lil Wayne blog, the MLB Playoffs, Amaré Stoudemire, The Hills & Entourage, Fernando Torres and the cool new running backs in the NFL? I got to! Unfortunately, this post can’t be four million words long so I will have to somewhat quickly comment on the coolest shit happening as of late. And for now I sort of promise to write more often because I probably should, on to the cool…
First off, what are you wearing and put your sunglasses back on. ESPN The Magazine was doing a feature on what songs baseball players come up to the plate to and with “Lollipop” being one of the most popular songs, ESPN asked Lil Weezy for his thoughts. Weezy talked about how “Lollipop” was a stadium song and how cool it is to hear it in a MLB stadium. During the same interview, supposedly he asked ESPN if he could write a blog for them and they said “YES!” quicker than Lamar Odom did when asked to be in that Linkin Park & Busta Rhymes music video. It’s a brilliant idea, the most popular rapper in the whole world writing a sports blog even though everyone thinks he is high and/or drunk at all times of the day. Imagine what the drafts that he sends into ESPN look like? I really want to read them so bad. Anyways, the version we get to read is still terrific as Weezy claims the only thing he watches on his 60+ televisions in his studio is sports, even tennis and the NHL. He, like myself, loves every cool player in sports – Manny Ramirez, Rafael Nadal, Sidney Crosby – but makes up some bullshit reason why he likes them not just that they are really cool. On the music side, in the words of former contributor Kael Kristof, T.I.’s Paper Trail is three million times better than Tha Carter III. I probably wouldn’t go that far as I listened to Tha Carter III far too much this summer, but nonetheless Paper Trail is so sick bro! If you follow my status updates you know I think very highly of his song with Usher “My Life Your Entertainment” and see it as comparable to “Love In This Club” and expect it to be played at every spring semester party ever, Kael’s room or Dom’s Lounge. The only complaint I have about the album, as everyone in the world probably does, is how can you make a song that samples “Paper Planes” with Kanye, Wayne, & Jay-Z on it, and have the product be the most annoying song ever?!? Swagga on a hundred, thousand, trillion!!! See you in Glasgow Kanye!
The NFL season isn’t quite going how I pictured it. Not enough Randy Moss touchdown celebrations, not enough Ocho Cinco, and too much Kerry Collins & Gus Frerotte. Although this season is so weird, it has produced many new cool players dominating the league. Fuck Peyton Manning, Carson Palmer & LT (not that any of the three were ever cool, maybe LT was when he went to TCU because he went to TCU and a Horn Frog was his mascot), it’s now all about Brandon Marshall, Adrian Peterson & Aaron Rodgers. Cool powder blue LT jersey Trygg, he is only every Patriots fan least favorite player! Aaron Rodgers, Jay Cutler & Eli Manning are the best quarterbacks in the league, maybe Phillip Rivers & Romo too, but I absolutely hate him forever along with every Charger. Brandon Marshall is the coolest receiver ever, he catches 15 balls every game for 150+ yards, got ticketed for an illegal lane change & got suspended, what’s not to like? Ronnie Brown even though he comically single-handedly destroyed the Patriots at Gillette is so much better and cooler than LT now. The Dolphins ran the option in the NFL and it worked perfectly, too bad CP10 is still the Dolphins quarterback and Greg Camarillo is their best receiver or they actually would be really good. I also love Reggie Bush, Marshawn Lynch’s gold teeth and… Adrian Peterson, who is the best-dressed NFL player off the field and he rocks his fresh purple knee-high socks with the calf-high white ones over them on the field, better than anyone on his team. He is really strong, he has a great barber and he beat his Dad’s friends in footraces when he was 8 years old. And he is kind of good at running the football too even though Gus Frerotte, his QB, has to throw it to Sidney Rice & Bernard Berrian.
The NBA Season is rapidly approaching and don’t worry the 2008-2009 All-Cool Team roster will be unveiled soon. One thing is for certain, the captain of last year’s squad, Amaré Stoudemire, will absolutely for sure 100% no doubt return as captain and starting center. Amaré will rock the Antonio Carr goggles this entire season and possibly for the rest of career because he somehow tore his right iris. Turns out it spilled all over the floor, then Steve Nash slipped on it and Raja Bell threw up, but Leandro Barbosa continued to play on and scored on a break-away with left handed lay up. Before this crazy accident, which never would have happened if Mike D’Antoni was still coach, Amaré appeared on the most random Nickelodeon television show that airs at like 3 AM or something. Here is the best link the NBA has ever seen, courtesy of Louis Frank’s wall posted by Mohammad Ali Qasim, who often posts great links on Biff’s wall, so maybe I should friend MAQ, so I can get some exclusive clips too.
I watch a lot of television shows too. I was once quoted as saying I am happiest when I am watching television while lying down in my bed. Anyways, two of my fav shows – The Hills & Entourage – are having fabulous seasons. There is more drama than ever packed into each episode on The Hills. Spencer fighting Heidi’s entire family, Lauren & Audrina dating every member of Brody’s crew all at the same time and then yelling at them about it, which causes the guys to go crazy and end up in jail for the night. Justin Bobby got a haircut and Lo still only has one friend in the entire world. Whitney is still somehow interested in Lauren’s life reacting with things like “Oh reeeaallllyy…” and saying “Doug? Oh yeah I rememberrr Doug” and “Have you and Audrina talked yet?” Entourage this season started terrifically with Vince having an amazing beard and then there was an entire episode dedicated to eating mushrooms at Joshua Tree. The J-Tree episode was my favorite one ever mainly because E was the best he has ever been and didn’t talk for the entire episode, instead writing things like “my mouth won’t talk” on his notepad. Also Showtime has another good show besides Weeds, and it is Californication. You should watch all of Season 1 soon because Season 2 just started yo!

Don't Let Me Down Matt

One week of NFL is complete and what a terrible week it was. I anticipated writing a triumphant opening column after a Patriot dismantling of the weak Kansas City Chiefs. I anticipated writing about the return of the unstoppable offense that carried last years Patriots to an undefeated regular season and went on vay-cay during the playoffs. Instead, I am writing about Matt Cassel. For the past couple seasons there has been worry about what if Tom Brady gets injured and Patriot fans have always laughed at that happening. This season, however, it seemed a more prevalent issue. This is probably because of Brady’s performance in the Super Bowl and the fact he didn’t take a snap in an ugly Patriot preseason. Or that ever since he has been a national media figure, because of Gisele or wearing the boot in New York, nothing good has happened. He’s been more Matt Leinart than Joe Montana the past 7 or so months. Something about the whole situation felt weird. The Patriots took a quarterback out of San Diego State in the third round. I watched more Matt Cassel plays and stories than I ever wanted to. There was no talk about who was even going to start at the cornerback position, it was all about the quarterbacks and we had the best in the game’s history! Something bad was going to happen. And after a first quarter Bernard Pollard helmet shot to Brady’s knee, something really bad really happened. Matt Cassel is the starting quarterback for the New England Patriots this Sunday against Brett Favre’s Jets.
Maybe it happened because I added a “Tom Brady is hot” Bumper Sticker to my Facebook profile. Maybe it happened because Billy Yates didn’t hold his block long enough causing Brady to step up into the Pollard shot. Maybe… maybe the Patriots aren’t that bad off! It has only been one week, but the other AFC favorites – San Diego, Indianapolis, and Jacksonville – all lost and to Carolina, Chicago, and Tennessee, respectively. They didn’t lose to teams like Dallas or Pittsburg, but to second tier teams. The Patriots AFC East rival, the Jets, who look like they might benefit most from the torn ACL, struggled against the Chad Pennington led Dolphins. CP10 had a completely new playbook to learn too, even if he knew exactly what the Jets were running! I’m not saying I’m not worried, because I am, but I am optimistic. The AFC doesn’t really scare me. The Bills looked good, but I can’t get too worked up about Buffalo. The Patriots after all do have the easiest schedule in the NFL, with the upcoming three games all being very winnable – at NYJ, MIA, at SF. Brady is the last person the Patriots could have afforded to lose and he is gone for the season. It undoubtedly will be different getting used to losing a couple of games during the regular season. Maybe that is a good thing with how last year worked out. Mo Lewis knocking out Drew Bledsoe didn’t look very good either and the 2001 Patriots didn’t have the likes of Randy Moss and Adalius Thomas.
Lastly, Dwayne Bowe: keep dropping game-tying touchdown passes in the fourth quarter and never ever imitate Randy Moss’ touchdown celebration ever again!
And I removed my contributors Chis, Biff, and Kael, because you didn't write enough lately or Biff ever and summer is over and I doubt you will write anything when you are in a different country or an Ivy League school. But, I kept my favorite post from each of you up.

Favre Packs & Delivers Like UPS Trucks

Yes. I believe in destiny. And not surprisingly for the exact same reasons as Red Sox and Pride & Prejudice fans, both of whom endured an extensive period (maybe more so for Bostonians) of anguish, brutality, and sheer disappointment before being lavishly rewarded for their faithfulness by a championship and a marriage, respectively. Boston came back from three down to stun the Yankees en route to a World Series victory for the same reason that Elizabeth Bennet eventually ties the knot with Mr. Darcy: it was inevitable; bound to happen. Quite simply, it was pure fate. And now I suddenly realize why I’ve had to helplessly endure each and every fruitless season the New York Jets have produced since I became a fan back in 1997: the whole time I was suffering, pleading and praying for a run at the Super Bowl year after year, I was unknowingly being prepped for the arrival of something unimaginable, unfathomable. Something that would change the course of the Jets for now, and for seasons to come. Something real, and something good. Really good. Something called Brett Favre.

Last night amid a conversation with an acquaintance of mine about study abroad, I suddenly felt the brusque, subtle vibratory pulses emanating from the cell phone in my right pocket. Not to be impolite and to keep the conversation flowing, I dexterously slid my mobile out just enough so I could quickly glance down and see who was calling me. It was one of my friends from high school who I’d been meaning to call back… it could wait. I ignored it and slipped it back into the coffer of my pocket. Almost immediately after the buzzing ceased, it picked up again, only this one was short-lived suggesting that I had just received a text message. And, like any American, that couldn’t wait. I excused myself from the exchange of words to examine the message. It was from Justin and it read: “Brett Favre OMG!”

Well before I found myself at the turning point of my career as a New York Jets fan that day, all I had read or heard about that morning was that a move to Tampa Bay was imminent for Favre. “Tampa Bay?” I thought. “Arguably the NFL’s most boring franchise that has left a permanent stain on my fanhood in engineering the worst Super Bowl I ever watched? Don’t they still have Keyshawn, Warrick Dunn, and Mike Alstott? Wait… Brad Johnson, too! How will Favre fit in?!?!?” As the day rolled on, so did SportsCenter… and so did the Favre saga. Hour by hour flew by, with a deal to the Bucs going unreported. Suddenly, Chris Mortensen got on the tube, and said that the Jets were also in the running (!!!!!!). What if? I mean, could it really happen?
Then, almost as quickly as Mortensen had revealed the latest news, a bidding war was triggered by the Packers for Favre’s services: Bucs vs. Jets; Pillaging Pirates vs. Paper Planes. It was like I had more records than the KGB, and all I wanted to tell the Jets front office was: No funny business.

It was late in the evening when I last checked SportsCenter as well as SI.com, whose Peter King reported that the Jets had taken the lead in the bidding war. If this was going to happen though, I thought, it probably wouldn’t go down until the morning… so I headed out. Then, just hours later, I received Justin’s text message… but what did it mean? He was probably just letting me know that he couldn’t believe the Jets had entered the Favre sweepstakes, and had chosen to convey his sentiments in this manner. Shortly after reading the message though, the other friend who had called moments before left me a voicemail… who just so happened to be another Jets fan. I could feel the endorphins firing off inside my brain… what if? Could it really happen? Did it really happen?!?!?!
YES!!!!!! It did!!!!!!!! I called Justin back and he told me the most inconceivable, most life-changing (for a sports fan of course), most seemingly positive news I had heard since JD Van Rossum woke me up from my nap on our JV Basketball team’s way back home on a bus to inform me that A-Rod had been dealt to the Yankees (we all know how that one turned out which is why I say seemingly positive). In a summer plagued by way too much free time, a thoughtless younger brother who listens to even worse music than I do and boarding the friendship with one too many girls, the acquisition of Brett Favre into my life certainly helped, and it was an incredibly euphoric moment. And understandably, I was all smiles. The laser-armed Mississippian who I had admired my entire life had landed with the Jets.I ran into the apartment where my friends were to joyfully announce the news. I got a ton of “No way!”s, and even more jaw-drops, for, as I realized in that moment, nobody actually thought Favre would leave Green Bay, let alone go to New York’s secondary team. But there he was, and that’s all that mattered to me.
In the days that followed, I watched as Gang Green said goodbye to the fragile Chad Pennington (whose career I did in fact appreciate, just not the $65 I wasted on his jersey), and welcomed in one of football’s greatest legends. I called friends, searched online for a new Jets QB jersey, and even made the bearded star of the Wrangler jean commercials my default pick on Facebook, which resulted in numerous posts to my wall, most of them strung with feelings of indifference in that Favre was too old to make a difference; a sarcastic, “Have fun” would have sufficed.This is the bottom line: I really could not care less about what everyone else thinks about Favre coming to the Jets. After all, most of them are Patriots fans anyway, who adamantly believe that had the Packers beaten the Giants in last year’s NFC title game, New England would have intercepted Favre eleven times en route to a Super Bowl victory and the perfect season. Now we’ll get to see if they can do that… twice a year. Now listen. I’m not saying the Jets are going to beat the Patriots twice… or once… or at all for that matter. I’m not saying that Favre is the missing piece to a team that had already been significantly revamped and upgraded. And I’m not saying that the Jets are going to win the Super Bowl, let alone make the playoffs. I’m just saying that the New York Jets are better now with Brett Favre than they were before without Brett Favre. And while the Yankees struggle, the Knicks continue to debate what to do with Marbury, Randolph, Curry, etc., the Rangers try to figure out how to get out of the second round, the Giants scream in horror when they find out that Eli Manning is still their quarterback and not whoever that was who led them to a perfect postseason, and the Red Bulls continue to get kicked in the teeth by FC Barcelona, the Jets are now the most talked-about team in New York because of one man.

My favorite football team is relevant again. And that’s good enough for me.

USA Basketball Liveblogging

The USA versus China Olympic Basketball Game is going to be one of the most watched basketball games of all time, so why not at 10 EST in the morning live blog it. There are over a billion people in China and roughly 20,000 people in Watertown, Massachusetts, so there are going to be mad viewers.
President Bush and President Hu are in attendance and as I begin writing four minutes have passed in the first quarter with China leading 11-9. The game started with a Yao Ming 3-pointer and China has continued to shoot well from outside. Dwight Howard and LeBron have been outstanding for the US with Howard getting the US on the scoreboard with a vicious dunk over Yao. LeBron is taking it to the basket and finishing difficult shots and just pinned the ball on a fast break, too. Kobe looks weak, as he has hit the side of the backboard and gotten blocked by Yao already. Jason Kidd has been subbed for already, thankfully, as I trust Chris Paul and a very good Deron Williams to carry the US at the point. Another thing of note, the announces are Mike Breen and Doug Collins – who is wearing very ugly prescription sunglasses inside – instead of the two ridiculous dudes that were commentating the tune up games. Too bad we won’t hear that dude say things like “sick, dude, sexy, baby, etc.”
Chen Jianghua breaks down the US team impressively, getting to the basket and now a Wang Zhu Zhu appearance. Yi Jianlin has been disappointing so far as he has done nothing and the US on defense keep hacking and going for every possible steal ever. The game has been exciting so far with a tie score of 16-16 although we know Chris Adams-Wall isn’t watching as he hates it and is probably watching “21” the movie about counting cards in preparation for his 21st birthday!!
The first quarter has come to a close with the US leading 20-16 and the last minute was quite entertaining with Yi trying to draw a foul on Howard and ending up throwing the ball way out of bounds, but China somehow getting the ball back on a weird call. Carmelo Anthony grabbed a board with one hand and brought it in and yelled, “Ooooooohhhh!!!” even though no one was competing for it with him. And there was a shot of LeBron on the bench biting his nails like he for some reason always does.
US leads 31-29 halfway through the second quarter, I had to take a typing break so I could eat some breakfast man. Some more meaningless things I observed, Yi Jianlin looks putrid getting destroyed on both ends, Nets fans are pumped if there are any! LeBron is proving he is the best player in the world as he has made another spectacular play by blocking a Chen Jianghua shot with two hands and then throwing a Kevin Love outlet pass to Dwyane Wade for the dunk on the other end. Kobe made his first significant play by dunking on some dude with two hands after earlier in the quarter saving a ball on the China end and giving them a lay-up. China is hitting everything from 3 keeping them in the game, maybe the US should contest at least a couple of these shots.
Wow! a magnificent sequence, Jason Kidd with a one handed long pass to Wade who threw up a lob to LeBron, who of course finished on a dude and got the foul, then proceeding to miss the free throw. The US is so bad at free throws as mainly Howard and LeBron seem to be taking them, that’s a problem. The US has quickly extended the lead to 13 points with a minute or so left in the half, scoring mainly on transition buckets. US leads at the half 49-37, and the China team Hyperdunk shoes are all red and quite ugly, weird that every country has the same shoes and tight fitting jerseys. Nike is dominating the world, and Dwight Howard is on the outside as he is the only non-Nike member of the US team and he gets no notoriety because of it. Howard is the best big man on the planet and played pretty much the entire first half, shutting down Yao, and gets no love because he rocks Adidas. I guess that makes sense as Adidas sucks newayz.
I am going to listen to “Green Light” by John Legend featuring Andre 3000 and “Lost!” & “Lost?” by Coldplay on repeat throughout halftime. Then I am going to make “Lost?!?!?!?...” on GarageBand. And eff the Netherlands for scoring a goal in the 93rd minute on a lucky but sick free kick!
It’s the second half baby! Yi Jianlin is 1-8 from the floor now and the one is a put back dunk on a missed Yao Ming 3-pointer over Carmelo Anthony. Now Dwight Howard got blocked on a fast break, what is going on?!? LeBron barrels through the lane and dunks, he is mad good yo, believe dat! A very boring third quarter is over with the score 74-48 , US ahead. China only scored 11 points this quarter and saw Yao Ming go down with an ankle injury, not really that good for China or the Rockets! Dwyane Wade has 19 points on 7/7 shooting and 5/5 from the free throw line, that’s cool. The US can’t hit open 3’s especially Kobe and that could serve as a problem later on, Redd hasn’t played much at all, but this game is pretty much O.V.A. I got my mojo back baby, oh behave!
I stopped watching in the fourth quarter, I got bored and browsed the Internet instead. The US probably wins by thirty or so, but I saw this Sonic commercial last night and thought it was extremely funny. Peace friends and just because I’m losing doesn’t mean I’m lost!!

Move Out July!

The month of July is coming to a close and it truly has been a wonderful month. Firstly, The All-Cool Team has welcomed three very worthy, very funny contributors, providing great reading material and banter. In the sports world July has been one full of trades, tattoos, and threats of going to Europe to play basketball. But, most importantly there have been two ridiculously crazy YouTube clips provided by the sports world. And outside the sports world there has been monumentally cool shit too, namely the Joker. There is a lot to talk about in this monthly wrap up so I will try and keep each segment short and kind of funny.

The two best clips of the sports year I would argue both happened in July, these clips of course being the WNBA Brawl in Detroit!! and the Minor League Fight. For the first ever WNBA Brawl to happen in The Palace of Auburn Hills where of course the NBA hate-maker brawl occurred is beyond humorous. The brawl had everything you could ever want. The fight was so on point Biff!! It had big big big and bad Rick Mahorn touching Lisa Leslie with his ring finger and her going flying across the court, leading to a post game interview where she said something along the lines of, "I am a mother and a role model. I don't want kids seeing me fight out there, and why did he push my anyways?" After Mahorn made her fall over, Lisa Leslie's Sparks teammate had her back and decided to throw a punch at Mahorn who didn't feel shit because he is so huge. Adding to the hilarity is the Shock player who tried to hold off her teammate from fighting ended up injuring herself. This was probably the best thing ever to happen to the WNBA and YouTube viewers appreciated it, yet the best clip of the month comes from a Minor League Baseball game. After two opposing managers were arguing about something the pitcher for the Cubs affiliate shoots into the picture out of nowhere and winds up to hurl the baseball at the other teams dugout. That is like the worst thing ever in the world to do, except for the fact that it missed the dugout completely and hit a father in the stands who brought his wife and two kids to the game. WTF is wrong with this pitchers brain, and how is he supposed to make it to the big leagues as the strike zone is a Tad Stebbins smaller than the dugout!!!! This is probably the worse thing ever that could happen at a baseball game besides going into the stands to fight, what an id!! He does look so funny though coming out of nowhere and winding up and then being instantly tackled by the other team.
I loved the NBA trade that went down today between the Sacramento Queens and Houston Rockets. Both teams absolutely benefit from this deal, as the oldest team besides the Spurs realized their shots at the title are dwindling and need to go for the NBA Championship soon, too bad the Celtics are so good!!! Newayz, the Rockets got a phenomenal defender and overrated offensive player who shoots too many mid-range jumpers. The Rockets didn't give up much that was going to help them this or next season so I think it was brilliant move and they are a legitimate contender, plus the Lake Show didn't get Artest! But, for the Kings who I kind of like, I think this is an outstanding move. They have a fabulous young core and a terrible coach. They got rid of someone that wasn't going to take them anywhere and can look forward to watching Beno Udrih, Kevin Martin, Spencer Hawes (who looks mobile and can shoot better than I thought), Jason Thompson, Quincy Douby, and Donte Greene grow. Not to mention they have 2 draft picks next year and will get a couple more before 2010 when they have enough cap space for one of the following hitting free agency: LeBron, D-Wade, and Melo. They likely won't grab one of the big 3, but there are other great talents available that year like Rudy Gay. The Gay-Douby era isn't as cool as the Gay-Love era. Nonetheless, I clearly love the trade.
BRIANNN DEEEEEGAN! Like Chris I absolutely love that ad even though that Darth Vader dude is so weird. Hey did you hear, SportsCenter is going live and some 23 year old who stumbles on his lines every commercial has something to do with it?!? I just wanted to mention how could anyone be excited for the X-Games when they last from Thursday to Sunday?!? How can extreme sports have only one event a year where all their crappy sports come together collectively and compete(?) and have it last four days? Sure they have like specific skateboarding events and the other ones during the year, but this is supposed to be big time when they are supposed to draw in fans of actual sports, and it lasts four days. How is your season four days? It is actually probably too many, got 'em! BRIANNN DEEEEEEGAN!
The Boston Red Sox have sucked in every big series this summer, so essentially they suck. The three biggest series probably have been the one in Tampa Bay (swept), the Yankees at home (1 of 3), and the Angels one now at home after getting swept in Anaheim of Los Angeles of California of the United States of America of Chone Figgins (0 for 2 with an almost no hitter and facing Joe Saunders tonight). They have been embarrassing and what sucks is that they are perfect on paper except basically at short stop. They have hitting, pitching, a pretty good bullpen, and some of the best defensive outfielders and a tight manager. They can't do much at the deadline except for the obvious and trade Manny Ramirez, which I would hate I am pretty sure. There are rumors about talks with Philadelphia, but what are we going to get in return, no Ryan Howard or Chase Utley or Jimmy Rollins so why do it, and we certainly don't need anymore prospects as our bullpen is full of them. I really want Jimmy Rollins though wow that'd be so sick! How could we trade Manny, I'd be fine with letting him go next after the year, but there isn't a fair deal out there now. We need his bat and we need his coolness. He is the coolest player probably ever in Boston. He has dreds that have been growing for centuries, he dekes base runners and somehow throws them out from left field, he lies down on baseballs in play, he high fives fans mid play, he doesn't hustle down the first base line, he pees and talks on cell phones during pitching changes, he legitimately thinks he has a shot at the Gold Glove this year, he carries Poland Springs bottles in his back pocket, and he says the most ridiculous things to the media although he refuses to talk to them. That was a long list of cool and I don't want him gone. David Ortiz has been gone most of the year, but that should be perfect as he is rested and healthy. But, it all depends on whether Big Papi has Manny batting behind him. They are the best 3-4 combo and when the Sox get hot they are hard to beat. I think they are near impossible to beat in the playoffs, but I can't be certain they are going to make it the way they have been playing in big series this year. Jon Lester is sooooo good BTdubs.
Lastly, my fav topic to talk about, USA Basketball!! Although the game with Canada wasn't the most exciting thing ever there was plenty of cool things we can pull out of it. The fourth quarter was sick and Chris Paul had a killer move in the third I believe. The jerseys are so detailed and cool and tight and make LeBron look like the strongest man ever. I like the white names on the white jerseys with the detailing on the back. The most interesting stylish related thing is Dwyane Wade being bald, the reason he is doing it, not a fashion statement, but because he is afraid of getting his haircut in Beijing. Interestingly enough both Gary Payton and Vince Carter did the same thing in Sydney and had afro's for the same reason. That is why Vince has hair when he dunks over that dude. Lastly Deron Williams has a beard, which is tight, but he is already losing his hair, which is really weird, and Jason Kidd just isn't that pleasant to look at, ew. Peace out alfalfa sprout!

I Will Make This Blog Disappear

Because Justin finally hyped me in a blog entry it’s time for me to return the favor and hype him and also contribute to the blog because it has needed me so badly. I’m glad that Justin decided to invite me, but it was inevitable, because I rock ironic urban attire like G-Unit sneakers & Wu-Tang t-shirts and most if not all of my clothing/lifestyle choices are on point, from my awesome white 2001 Sebring convertible to my cool gelatin iPod case. Also Kael you rejected my friend request on Facebook which makes you an asshole and makes you the sixth man on the All-Uncool Team (AUT), which I am currently in the process of assembling. Kael is pretty much the James Posey of the AUT, which is a perfect segue into what I want to first address in this my first weblog entry.

The Celtics recently lost the coolest and most talented player in NBA history, James Posey, when he signed a 75-year $650 billion contract with the New Orleans Jenero Pargos. Everything that Posey did was on point, from the way he rocked his green NBA headband inside-out to the fact that 98% of his shots were 3-pointers, 97% of which went in. He also played lockdown defense on Kobe Bryant in the NBA Finals and was actually more valuable to the team than Paul Pierce and Ray Allen during some stretches of the postseason. And lastly of course the coolest thing ever was James’s green and white mouth-guard. Only the coolest NBA players wear mouth guards (LEBRON!!!!!!) and James was THE coolest NBA player so he wore one obs. Although he will be 65 when his contract runs out and it probably made sense for the Celtics not to overpay for his services, I am still sad that he had to leave. I can only hope that JR Giddens and Bill Walker’s knees can replace Posey’s production and coolness in the Celtics’ rotation, but I seriously doubt it. If the Celtics don’t defend their title next year it will be because Posey wasn’t there to hit elephantiasis of the testicles 3-pointers and play Bruce Bowen-esque defense and rock his cool mouth guard.

My four favorite things on earth are sports, Justin Timberlake, pizza, and Erin Andrews wearing make-up and a dress, so I’ve been searching for years to find a way to combine all of these things into one night, when I discovered that HOLY SHIT THE ESPYS WERE ON SUNDAY!!!!!!! I ordered a sweet pizza from Front Row, poured myself a pitcher of water, and sat down to watch what I was hoping would be the greatest thing of all time. Unfortunately it sucked more than anything on earth and I almost vomited my awesome pizza out of embarrassment because the writing was so bad and it was sad watching my main man JT trying to make the lame jokes funny. Although Erin was on point in her black dress and obviously the Celtics repped Titletown hard by winning the Oscar for “Best Team,” the whole thing sucked. Between the Giants winning every award—including “Best Picture,” “Best Album,” and “Best Kiss”—and Justin singing lame songs and making awkward jokes about stupid Brett Favre and Paul Pierce’s gang signs, the whole show was a colossal disappointment. Also, why do they record it on Tuesday and then air it on a Sunday? You would think that ESPN would be cooler/classier than a lame stunt like this. Overall, the show sucked, but I did enjoy my pizza from Front Row as well as Erin Andrews’s awkward sexual tension with JT during their interview.

Onto the AUT, which currently has two members: Kael and Stupid Brett Favre. I’m tired of hearing about Brett on ESPN and other news channels, and the fact that he did an interview on FOX NEWS (!?!?!?!?!??!?!) makes him an even bigger tool and currently makes him the MVP of the AUT, although Kael is giving him a run for his money (omg jk). I hate it when they have a “FAVRE” section of the Bottomline on ESPN and it says something like “Favre still considering coming out of retirement.” I wish Brett would just lay in the cut and write a reinstatement letter to Sheriff Roger Goodell instead of going on FOX NEWZ (!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?) and talking shit about a team that obviously doesn’t want him back because he’s old and lost them the NFC Championship Game and because they have Ryan Grant who ran for 6,000 yards in 4 games last season. Also Brett does those stupid Wrangler commercials where he’s throwing a football to his dog or some shit. I don’t really know because they’re dumb and he’s dumb and I wish he would just go away or stop doing interviews with second-rate cable news channels. Thanks Brett!!!!!!

If you saw “The Dark Knight” then you’re allowed to read this paragraph, and if you didn’t then you’re also allowed to read this paragraph but don’t get mad at me when I ruin the movie for you (I probably don’t have anything to worry about because I saw the movie with the only two people who read this blog so yay!!!!). I’m not going to beat around the bush: The Joker—fictional though he may be—is the coolest motherfucker on the planet. Everything about him exudes cool and is on-point, from his dope custom clothes that don’t have tags to his badass ways of killing people. I’ve never seen a cooler scene in a movie than the part in “The Dark Knight” when the Joker says he’ll make the pencil disappear and then pounds Big Boi’s dude’s head onto the table and HOLY SHIT THE PENCIL GOES INTO HIS HEAD AND KILLS HIM OMG OMG OMG!!!!! I pooped at that moment in the movie but obviously couldn’t leave the theater to change my pants because the movie was so awesome and I had to watch the whole thing. Also the Joker somehow never dies despite being railed in the head like 50 times throughout the movie, which only adds to his mystique and coolness.
Peace easy homiez. That’s what I’m burning on. Until then, I’m out.

United We Rise

I cannot express how excited I am for Olympic Basketball. I lot of friends have displayed their lack of interest in the Olympics overall, but I am assured once they get going people will be super pumped. The popular non-basketball events and people like that 41 year old non-steroid using hopefully woman swimmer and Michael Phelps are gr8 stories and track will be sort of interesting I guess too. I, of course, am just really interested in watching the best players in the United States of America except for Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett and Amare Stoudemire play for the gold in Beijing, look how many dots you place in a row when you write out Beijing, three, that is so cool, I don't know many other words that are like that! How could I not be excited for the coolness of watching Chris Paul, LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Carmelo Anthony, and Dwight Howard all gracing the floor at the same time and for something meaningful? There are other NBA stars playing for other countries like Chris Kaman and Dirk Nowitzki for Germany, Manu Ginobli for Argentina, and the Gasol Brothers and Ricky Rubio (18 year old version of Pistol Pete), among others for Spain. Peep the Wikipedia page for schedules of the games because I am going to try and watch as many as I can. The USA Team has a exhibition game this Friday on ESPN against Canada a huge basketball super-powerhouse seeing Steve Nash isn't playing even. I am very confident in this USA Team to return to the top of Olympic Basketball, as they are an actual team that has played together for three years now and work well together. Carmelo Anthony loves International Basketball as he always plays very well, and has plenty of help offensively and defensively. Kobe will instill defense in this team and Dwight Howard will protect the rim because he is a freak. The major concern of course is the lack of big men as Chris Bosh and Carlos Boozer are the back up 4 and 5 players. The NBA Summer League has been alright with Jerryd Bayless absolutely dominating and Kevin Love getting double doubles every game to go with his perfect outlet passes and chin strap beard. The Olympics though is going to be so much better and so fricking cool, I am so excity!! Oh yeah I didn't even mention Dwyane Wade, the sixth man, he is kinda good too!!

Summertime is all about music and there have been plenty of albums out there that have not disappointed. Summer jams provide great joy to us listeners as we cruise with the windows down to the beach or the golf course or to movie theatres to see The Dark Knight. So it is my responisibility to inform you of the summer albums and tracks that have kept me feeling cool and those that suck. It probably isn't possible to talk about an album during the Summer of 2008 and not first mention Tha Carter III. Lil Wayne's highly anticipated album is amazing. Everyone breathing has heard of him by now and probably is quoting something he has said on the album. The tracks I am bumping in my Jeep Cherokee are absolutely every single one. I really think that "Mr. Carter" featuring Jay-Z and "Nothin' On Me" featuring Juelz & Fabo are both probably some of the greatest contributions to hip hop. Fabo has a whole verse about italian food and Pimp My Ride!!! "Phone Home" is so weird as is "La La" but they are both so good! Really every track is good, Wayne impressed. Of course it is a little disappointing the radio has worn out some Wayne songs like "Mr. Carter" and that my 10 year old sister is annoyed of hearing him on every song, despite barely knowing him. Other than Weezy F. other albums I really like are The Cool Kids debut hip hop album "Bake Sale," GirlTalk's "Feed The Animals," and Coldplay's "Viva la Vida" is pretty amazing too as there isn't really a bad track on it either. Hip-hop is essential to the summertime, but more so are great pop songs so lets talk about Jesse McCartney and Natasha Bettingfeild. How could you not want to spend all day listening to "Leaving" and "Pocketfull of Sunshine" because I absolutely do? With the fabulous pop songs of course come the not so much, and the not so much is actually an absolutely never ever and the song is "I Kissed A Girl" by Katy Perry. How is this a top the iTunes Top Songs daily? It is the worst shit ever and I don't want my sister listening to this, but it is unavoidable as it is constantly playing. I want to punch the song everytime I hear it and will settle for yelling at someone who thinks they are funny when they play it on their iPod. Oh yeah, also be on the lookout for Lou Frank aka Biff aka Lou-Z aka LouDogg's debut album that may be called "Inside Joke" that shit is going to be so on point especially the one track "Get Money" featuring yours truly. In the meantime peep his MySpace and listen to "99 Problems".

Lastly, some things that are on my mind:
"You look good tonight girl" is something KG hopefully said to Erin Andrews at the ESPY's because well she did.
How excited am I for Brett Favre's retirement speech next year and why not sit on the sidelines for $14 million at this point?
The overseas trend for NBA players is very interesting as Carlos Delfino and Juan Carlos Navarro have already bolted and maybe even Josh Childress. This is crazy and probs scary for the NBA as overseas leagues can offer more money because the dollar is mad strong right now and the fact that Euro players don't have to pay taxes like with American contracts. Is it something that more and more players are going to do wil be interesting to watch, especially after Brandon Jennings decided to skip college.

Here are a few YouTube links that both show my love for the New York Knickerbockers and Yao Ming: Zach Randolph Shooting With 7 Seconds Left On The Shot Clock, Steph's Reaction Last Year To The Randolph Trade, and Yao Ming Staring Down Q-Ross

Trying to Rebound After Getting Dumped

WTF?! How much will he regret that tat when they get divorced? Having hundreds of channels on cable should go down as one of the greatest ideas ever. Without it, I would not be able to watch the NBA Summer League in Las Vegas and then change to MTV Jams and see the NEW LL COOL J song! That would have never happened to me in the 90s. If you guys didn’t know that LL still makes music and have an interest in what he could possibly contribute to the “art form” of rap music at this point, his song is featuring The-Dream, and I guarantee it’s easy to get drunk to.

I honestly think that’s the new business model for rap music: make your songs so bad that they make people just want to get fucked up. If I dropped out of school and just listened to rap music all day (especially the rap played on MTV Jams), I think I’d forget how to read within a week. With that said, Lil Wayne is tight and wears super bright red pants in his music videos. He also has probably killed over half his brain cells doing drugs and his flow is so sick it’s like his shit is dying. PS I think that an All-Cool Team of Rap is needed in the near future. I’ll see what I can do if J-Scrilla doesn’t beat me to it. PPS Buttahman on MTV Jams is honestly the ugliest human being on earth. It actually saddens me that MTV would try to get an ugly, un-entertaining person and try to dress him up fly and see if people like him. Doesn’t do it for me.

Ok, so that’s that shit like R.Kelly. Next topic for conversation: I need a new NBA team. Mine moved to Oklahoma City, and I need a new one to root for. I’m not going to touch on Mr. Bennett and David Stern and Oklahoma (who would want to live there over Seattle?! Durant is pissed). Anyways, Kev’s signature shoe was boo boo and Johan Petro is their starting center. But, as an avid NBA fan, who watches NBA Summer League games over the Home Run Derby, which Justin evidently enjoys, I need that “rebound team” after getting dumped by the Sonics. Many people think that all us Seattleites will just move on to Portland, because it’s so close to us. Couldn’t be less true. Portland is stacked with young talent and probably has the most people on their squad whose jerseys I would love to rock (Petteri Koponen is #1, naturally), plus they have players from Seattle on their team (Brandon Roy and Martell Webster)… but I just don’t think I can call them my new favorite team after rooting so passionately against them for my entire life.

I’m tempted to choose Memphis because they’re the most likely team to move to Seattle within the next 5 years, and OJ Mayo is flyer than Beetle Juice, Beetle Juice, Beetle Juice. But they’re poorly run and I refuse to choose a new favorite team that’s worse than my old one. So, after much thought, (random question: why is Barry Bonds in David Banner’s new music video?) my finalists are the Celtics and the Hornets. I almost threw Cleveland in there but Cleveland sucks and there’s no way Lebron would not change teams in two years. The business and advertising opportunities available in bigger markets/moving away from fucking Cleveland will end up being way too tempting. The Warriors lost Baron. The Clips lost Elton and Corey. The Heat suck and have Shawn Marion, who would rather lose than win, I’m convinced (even though D-Wade is one of my Fave Five players in the league and Beasely is cool and left-handed). The Raptors (Jermaine and Christopher Bosh?!) and the Wizards (crazy Gilbert and crazier DeShawn) are tight, but not in the echelon of the Celts and Hornets.

Not to be too bandwagon by picking the Celtics at this point, but they have tight players (no way?). Ray Ray has a sort of nice shot, plus he was in a sick Jordan commercial immediately after Game 6. Props. KG is intense and doesn’t sleep. Paul Pierce is the least cool of the big 3 in terms of likeability, but his game is amazing because it doesn’t seem like he should be able to score ever; he has limited athleticism and actually looks like he’s never lifted a weight ever cuz he has no definition in his arms. Then you have Leon Powe, who is the new Paul Millsap. You’ve got Brian Scalabrine, who was the least cool player ever until he got interviewed after they won and was clearly garbage faced. JR Giddens and William Walker are sick and Rondo is legit. Perk is pretty ugly, but Eddie House’s neck tattoo, jump shots, and son are sick. Pose is probably not coming back though, because analysts say that he will be signed by…

New Orleans! Two words: CHRIS PAUL! Add Peja’s comb over, Tyson being a bean stalk, Mo Pete being a tight lefty, and David West being super-talented and no longer under-rated after he shit on the Spurs. Stir in Byron Scott being a pretty tight head coach and Julian Wright doing cool athletic things in his 6 minutes per game… plus they play in the hometown of Weezy. Plus, CHRIS PAUL. Chris Paul is my favorite player in the league by far. He can do no wrong, no homo. His handle is wicked nice, he thoroughly enjoys throwing incredible lobs to Tyson, and he single-handedly makes his team one of the best in the West because he makes his teammates so much better. Plus, he’s going to tear shit up on the Olympic Team hopefully so we don’t lose to fucking like Macedonia or Scotland or any other country on this planet because last time I checked, we have all NBA players and no one else does (yet another topic up for discussion at a later point). Plus, he’s a legitimately good person. I have no personal evidence of this, but that’s what I hear.

So, the real question is, if the Celtics played the Hornets for the NBA championship, who would I root for? And the answer is: CHRIS PAUL! I hope New Orleans beats the shit out of Oklahoma City every fucking game for the rest of eternity, and that Chris Paul takes a huge shit and has quadruple doubles on their court. Also, I hope OKC fans root for N’awlins over their new team because the Hornets played there first. Fuck Oklahoma City. Go Chris Paul. Celtics, you’re cool but you already got your title. And you can have Justin as your fan. And you have Bill Simmons. And 17 championships. To Clay Bennett, thanks for dumping me with your shit-ass team (that has really tight young players). Good riddance. I’m sooooooooooooo over you. I have a new favorite team! Go Hornets!

Welcome Chris!!

Chris, could not be happier that you are a fellow contributer to The All-Cool Team, which in your honor has been renamed to include "feat. Knick n' Flicka." Loved your post and can't wait to battle with you forever and ever. Can't believe how ridiculous your post looks right now as I watch Josh Hamilton absolutely destroy baseballs and am loving every second of it. How could this be an overrated event as there are so many good stories even before the event began? The story of Josh Hamilton and the fact that he could win a Triple Crown and has a Legion batting practice old dude throwing to him. Or Ryan Braun having his agent throw BP! And Erin Andrews! 28 home runs! I was at the '99 Derby sitting in right field watching McGwire crush home runs into the light towers because well you know he was on steroids. Josh Hamilton isn't I don't think and he made Yankee Stadium look like it had a really short porch in right field! Oh, it does?
Secondly, it was very disappointing that you wrote about Brett Favre! It is my least favorite story ever and who cares where he goes, unless he does end up backing up Aaron Rodgers, which he will because this is Aaron Rodgers last year under contract and the Packers have to let him play at least a year. Run-on sentences, yum! And you said that you would talk on the subject briefly! You are right though, he has absolutely hurt the perception we have of him, except the fact he threw the most ridiculous interceptions ever and at the worst times is something I will always remember.

Finally, love you got your soccer in there, it is nice to have someone knowledgeable touch on the fascinating subject of European football. I'll bring the cool aspect and say Ronaldinho is a baller as he is sick at Fifa and in the game too, he partied nights before World Cup games! and he has that sick fake ad where he juggled soccer balls off the crossbar repeatedly. Also, hated your cool guy Alex Rodriguez because he is A-Rod and ended his marriage for MADONNA, who the fuck is attracted to Madonna nemore?!?!? The real cool people of the day, O.J. Mayo, for dunking on Hilton Armstrong in the NBA Summer League (YouTube it!) and Brandon Jennings for having the coolest hair ever - like honestly probably the best in the world - and the fact that he isn't going to college and instead will ball in Europe and make money. He tattooed "Young Money" on his back, too! And thank you to CBS for firing 97 year old Billy Packer!

Elton, I Am So Mad At You!

Oh fuck you Elton Brand! I mean what the fuck, everyone was rooting for you and the Clippers to actually do the right thing and you sign with the Philadelphia 76ers. Fuck you man! I mean sure you are looking out for you and your family by taking more money than the Clippers offered and now actually have a chance to make it somewhat far in the playoffs because you are in the Eastern Conference. Selfish. Who would ever want to win more and make more money? You hurt all of the die-hard Clipper fans out there by leading them on man. But seriously, as a pseudo-Clipper fan this is very disappointing news. The only die-hard Clipper fan alive is Frankie Muniz, and I bet he was so excited about the possibility of overthrowing the Lakers as the kings of Los Angeles. Brand was offered $75 million by the Clips over five years, only $7 million less than the Sixers offered, and there are reports that the Clippers were ready to bump it up to $81 million. He convinced the Clippers to sign Baron Davis as he offered to take a pay cut to make it happen because he was so inspired by watching the Celtics win with superstars. Brand and agent David Falk screwed everything up and gave a big F U to the Clippers organization who got burned again and burned badly. What are they supposed to do now, sign and overpay Josh Smith? They are a fairly logical organization at the moment as they correctly let Corey Maggette walk and get overpaid by the Warriors and made the right move in drafting Eric Gordon. Things were looking so promising!! If Brand signed with the Clippers I would argue next season that the Clippers would be better than the 76ers are going to be with him next season. He was simply scared of the Western Conference and sees the possibility of the 76ers in a couple years overthrowing the Boston Celtics with the young talents of Thaddeus Young, Andre Iguodola, and Louis Williams. But to do this for $1 to $7 million extra, after getting Baron to Los Angeles and saying he planned to resign with the Clippers, that's turrible. Elton Brand threw a curve ball showing that the NBA Off-season never fails to disappoint, unlike some other things during summer, like ESPN’s SportsCenter.
If you watch SportsCenter and you should if you read this blog, you realize that during the summertime they come up with idiotic gimmicks. Last year it was “Who’s Now?” which got laughed at by every single viewer because SportsCenter poppin’ and everything stoppin’. This summer it is their segment “Titletown,” where they have terrible anchors like Wendy Nix travel to Tennessee and do a short story why Knoxville is the best/most successful/I-don’t-know-what city in the United States. Firstly, this is insane as everyone in the country knows it is Boston as you can extend its success like they do in the segment beyond professional teams to college sports and say look at BC/BU Hockey it is so good and BC Football is alright because Doug Flutie threw that hail-mary. I had to watch Roy Williams talk about the UNC Basketball, Baseball, Football and Women’s Soccer teams, even though the only good ones are Basketball and Women’s Soccer. It’s stupid, how could they possibly be a contender for Titletown when their professional basketball team is the Charlotte Bobcats?!?!?!?!? But the Carolina Hurricanes won the Stanley Cup?!?!?!? No one cares, and they didn’t even mention it! Who is going to vote for a Titletown that is not Boston or not their closest city? Unless of course you vote for Seattle and all those titles they have won.

Lastly, my World Series prediction is the Chicago Cubs and Titletown Red Sox squaring off in a epic battle. The Red Sox for the first time this decade won’t sweep their National League counterpart, but will win the series in 5 games and for the first time, in Boston because the NL will beat the AL in the All-Star Game. The NL has every good pitcher and they just picked up two of the best from the AL this week, Rich Harden and CC “don’t put those periods in there” Sabathia. The best pitchers in the AL are Justin Duchscherer, Cliff Lee, and Joe Saunders, who? The AL is in trouble yo, as the NL has pitchers I recognize as aces like Dan Haren, S.I. Cover Boy Tim Lincecum, Ben Sheets, and my boy Edinson Volquez!!

NBA Off-Season In Full Effect

Summertime for sports isn't that exciting, as sports fans just witnessed the best NBA season since MJ, a terrific NCAA Basketball Tournament with Davidson and Super Mario Chalmers' miracle shot, and a stupid effing Superbowl that was exciting for everyone in the country not from the best sports city. The Stanley Cup was pretty cool and Euro 2008 was great, but baseball sucks, it is so boring and long now. I guess it always has been, but with spectacular seasons in other sports it shows you truly how awful baseball is. I don't even care the Tampa Bay Rays just swept the Red Sox because the Red Sox will be there in October for sure. Imagine if the NBA was going on during summertime, it would be the best thing ever. You could watch TNT or ESPN or Celtics games every day of the week, and actually watch SportsCenter Top 10 because now it is full of the same diving catches by no name outfielders. Olympic Basketball is something to look forward to too, and as of this week the NBA Off-season has been entertaining.

I LOVE that my favorite NBA superstar Baron Davis is going to the Clippers and Brand is supposedly taking a pay cut to play with him, although Brand was just offered a huge contract by the Golden State Warriors. If Brand takes that he will go against everything he has said, that he was inspired by the Big Three and wanted a big name player alongside him so the Clippers could compete. The West is going to be so amazing again next season, look at the starting five for the Clippers, Chris Kaman (a favorite of mine), Elton Brand, Al Thornton, Cuttino Mobley, and Baron Davis, and coming off the bench Eric Gordon and Shaun Livingston's knee. There are so many legitimate teams: the Lakers, Spurs, Hornets, Mavs (not big on them), Jazz, Clippers, Trail Blazers, Rockets, Suns, Nuggets, Warriors (sort of). There are only four teams that as of right now have no shot at the playoffs: the Oklahoma City Sonics, Kings, O.J. Mayo's Grizzlies, and the very young talented T-Wolves Baron Davis is a superstar and will compete with Kobe for LA Headlines and I love it, because Baron is the coolest flyest dude ever rocking The Hundreds gear and geek glasses and seemingly being everywhere the camera is in Los Angeles. I got my BoomDizzle Clippers jersey in the mail yo!

With Mario Chamlers and DeAndre Jordan left on the board, the Celtics chose New Mexico small forward J.R. Giddens, a transfer from Kansas. I think J.R. is a James Posey prototype and hopefully Pose stays around long enough to show J.R. the ropes. Doc and Danny chose J.R. because of his defensive abilities they saw in person and on tape. He is super athletic and definitely will be able to score the basketball, but he is going to be a defensive stopper. The Celtics also got Billy Walker, Michael Beasley's sidekick at Kansas State. Bill was also O.J.'s sidekick throughout AAU and high school ball and was a vicious dunker. He had knee surgery his freshman year of high school and I believe in college too, and just had some this week after being drafted. So, clearly he has knee problems, but it is a terrific chance to take. He is undersized at 6'6, but has the chance to be one of the amazing athletes in this league and he can also shoot the ball. He had a couple big shooting nights this past year in college and could be a very solid offensive threat off the bench and be an energy guy.