Breaking News on Stan Van Gundy's Mustache!!

:-) If Jameer Nelson returns for the NBA Finals that would be so fucking cool. I don't know if he'd be good, but he is more consistent than Rafer Alston & he destroyed the Lakers when the Magic beat LA in LA in the regular season.
:-( If you are interested, my boring prediction is the Lakers will win in 6. It pains me to say it & I hope I am wrong even though I have rooted against the Magic for three straight series. The Magic are pretty cool I have to admit. It just seems way too difficult for the Magic to win three straight at home and it's unlikely they will win if LA if the Lakers play like they did in Game 6 against the Nugs.
:-) Varejao & Ben Wallace are better defenders than Bynum & Gasol, but Big Z was pretty terrible & slow, so it will be interesting to see how Dwight fares in the Finals. The match-up problem everyone talks about that Rashard Lewis creates should be interesting. If the Lakers play Pau & Odom at the 4 & 5 to match up with Dwight & Rashard that leaves the Dwight-Pau mismatch. If Bynum & Gasol play 4-5 there is no way Pau can guard Rashard either. But Rashard can't guard Pau. But 3 points are worth more than 2. I don't know what is going to happen with this, that is why everyone including Charles Barkley is taking about it. If I'm the Lakers I play Pau & Odom and double off Rafer or Courtney Lee (whoever is playing) and make him beat you. The Magic hopef won't play Rafer in the 4th and rely on the Lee, Pietrus, Hedo, Rashard & Dwight lineup, which the Lakers will counter with Fish, Kobe, Ariza, Odom & Pau. Pietrus did well against LeBron, so that should carry over against Kobe. The Magic have to dump it in to Dwight to take advantage of the biggest mismatch on the floor even if he cries after winning the Eastern Conference Finals and cries that LeBron & Kobe get too much attention and cries that Stan doesn't allow him to touch the ball enough.
:-( LeBron walked off without talking to the media or congratulating the Magic. Everyone is making a big deal out of this. He did the same thing to the Celtics last year. I don't care that he did it either time and understand it because he does every interview after halftime and games every time and always says the right thing and what the media wants to hear, so why are they complaining now?

Bun B Calls Magic "Erwin"

Pennies [Remix] (Feat. Ludacris & Bun B) - The Cool Kids

I really like The Cool Kids even though I'm not a big fan of The Gone Fishing Mixtape, just this song and a couple others. I am excited for their second album. Their name has "Cool" in it so naturally this blog is a fan of them.
The Nuggets are Gone Fishin' too. Coincidence? Who knows, but I am upset about it.

Give You Cold Looks Cause We Look Cold

Kanye West Paranoid Official Music Video from bonna dona on Vimeo.

New music video from the coolest man on the planet! Every new music video is fresh and unique, something you never seen before, and obviously cool. The Air Yeezy's have sneaker heads going crazy and every rapper ever has a pair I am pretty sure. In the video, Rihanna is pretty much naked. I don't know why or how he got her to do it.

Kanye then claims that the above video was leaked and is an "old and very wrong version."

Feeling On Your Butt, What?

The title of this post has nothing to do with what I am going to write. It is just my favorite line from “Blame It” on the a-a-a-alcohol because of the way Jamie Foxx says it. Newayz, I want to make a couple points about the Magic-Cavs series.
First off, I hate that everyone who talks about basketball in the media is saying that the Cavs are one great shot (which it was) by LeBron in Game 2 from getting swept. It is stupid to say because it says nothing. The Cavs are one great shot by Rashard Lewis in Game 4 - that gave the Magic a two point lead with six seconds left - from the series being tied. They make it seem like the Cavs should have been swept when it could very easily be tied using that same logic.
On to Dwight Howard. He looked phenomenal in the first quarter of Game 4 as he was making legitimate post moves, not just relying on his only perceived ability of being able to dunk to score. He then looked atrocious in the fourth quarter, forcing up terrible shots that were rushed and looked like he was getting p0wnd by Kendrick Perkins again. He then flipped again and looked great in OT by using his body and speed and mobility to destroy Ilgauskas and Varejao. It is amazing how inconsistent he is with the ability to dominate that he possesses. My question: how has he not developed a couple of go to post moves besides the dunk and the horrible running across the lane jump hook? Patrick Ewing must be a terrible Big Man Coach. Dwight this series has shown that he can hit the free throws when they count and the thing about him, unlike Shaq or other terrible free throw shooters, is that his form looks good! Tim Duncan is not that great of a free throw shooter yet has developed the unguardable bank shot and jump hook, which he has utilized to make him one of the best bigs ever to play the game. How has Dwight Howard not yet learned the square up bank shot yet? He could definitely use it and kill everyone in the league. Once they started biting on his pump fake he would take one dribble and shatter the backboard with a vicious dunk. I should be his big man coach even though I haven’t yet developed the bank shot.
I am going to make one point briefly because it is a little ridiculous. I rewatched the last shot of Game 4 too many times, LeBron’s step back attempt at a game winner from half court. It was a pretty good look and a pretty good try as it was pretty close. But, when I looked at it, Courtney Lee goes to double LeBron and leave Delonte West pretty much wide open for a much easier and closer shot. Of course, LeBron would get hammered by the media for not taking the big shot at the end of the game, but there was plenty of time to make the pass and for Delonte to get off a clean three for the win. A much better option. Also, LeBron’s three while tiptoeing the sidelines to make the game even a game in OT was UNBELIEVABLE and probably a harder shot than the Game 2 winner, but with less obviously on the line.
Oh yeah, what happened at the end of the fourth? Why didn't Stan call a timeout when it was obvious they weren't going to get a good shot? Mickael Pietrus wound up taking one of the worse shots ever but got bailed out by Dwight hustling after the loose ball. Then Rashard hit the three of course.

Game 4: Nuggets – Lakers | Running Notes & Thoughts

==> Chauncey Billups has slapped hands with at least 20 people (including coaches, players, and peeps in the stands) right before the game is set to begin. Do you think he is worried about if he got everyone?
==> Why is each starter allowed to hold on to the ball and dribble it and put it over their head before tip-off? Do some players have pre-game ball rituals? What would mine be? Do I have to be a superstar or point guard to get to feel the ball? Andre Bynum doesn’t dribble it around.
==> A tattoo on my neck of red lips is probably the last tattoo in the world I would ever get. If I was in the NBA, I guarantee I would have a neck tattoo. For real.
==> Have you seen Birdman give interviews with his hair straight and combed? You should. His persona and look on the court is so crazy, how does he try to be a normaler looking person off the court and succeed?
==> Lamar Odom blocks another inbound pass. Good thing it is still the first quarter.
==> Luke Walton is poop.
==> Lamar Odom is the only Laker I like.
==> Kobe banks in a runner at the end of the first quarter. Mark Jackson makes a joke no one saw coming about the bank being open on a holiday. I bet Sean Marshall laughed. More importantly, Kobe’s jersey is way too big. He is swimming in it. His shorts are baggy too. Diana Taurasi looks better in her jersey in the WNBA ads.
==> J.R. Smith hits a floater and proceeds to let Sasha know about it. Birdman then deflates the ball against the backboard. To say that the Nuggets bench has a lot of energy would be an understatement.
==> I saw something the other day about how when AI first got traded to the Nuggets that both Carmelo & J.R. Smith had a hard time keeping up with his partying because AI was out until 3AM. Do you think they have been able to keep up with Birdman’s partying?
==> J.R. Smith is somehow really good at passing, but one of my favorite things is when after players make the pass they turn their heads to make it look more like a no-look pass or just way cooler.
==> Kobe makes a turn around jumper over Anthony Carter for an And 1, then makes his stupid stupid face when he hits shots and sticks out his jaw and lower lip almost. I don’t know how to describe it or explain what he is doing because he is so uncomfortable and stupid. Almost as stupid as his purple & gold headphones.
==> I am bored during halftime so I have been looking at pictures of Kobe Bryant and found the picture below. He is sitting next to Sun Yue I assume, but whyyyyyyy???? Because he has no friends and no one likes him and he is an arrogant jerkhead.
==> Halftime special on Chris Andersen, the real guy not The Birdman. I learned nothing like usual and am glad his hair is like it is now instead of how it was when he tried the same dunk 31 times in the dunk contest.
==> Dahntay Jones trips Kobe. Kobe is upset. I’m not.
==> Chris Andersen just shot a three. I’m upset. He’s not. Sasha missed one right after. They have the same 3PT FG% this game!
==> Sasha hit one, oops.
==> Jeff Van Gundy doesn’t like that 7 Technical Fouls in the Playoffs results in an automatic suspension because 7 is an arbitrary number. He then suggests 9 or 11 games without explanation. Those are also numbers.
==> My favorite part about the Shaq & Kobe alley-oop against the Blazers commercial is that Kobe tries to high-five Shaq, but Shaq sort of looks and ignores it and then celebrates by pointing up into the stands.
==> The Nuggets Trainer has a gr8 mustache & Big Shot with a BIG SHOT.
==> Slo-Mo shot of J.R. pounding his chest with both hands, first person I’ve seen do that, and yells “mother fucker” at the same time.
==> I wonder if Bynum gets excited at Christmas or what he is like drunk.
==> “Look at my arm! Look at my arm!” – Pau Gasol
==> J.R. Smith hits two COLOSSAL threes then does a chicken dance back the other way. I hope I can find a picture of it to make my profile picture. J.R. celebrates like no one else in the NBA, HE IS THE FUCKING MAN!!!!!!!!!!
==> Mike Posner "Kiss Me Thru The Phone" drops now too!! Best day ever!!

Amar'e Doesn't Know Who Kelenna Azubuike Is!

The Suns didn't make the Playoffs meaning that perhaps the leagues coolest player, Amar'e Stoudemire, is ineligible for the 2009 NBA Playoffs All-Cool Roster. However, he was entered into a Spelling Bee by NBA.com and asked to spell players names, doing some with ease and others not so much. Of course Amar'e looks hip with his glasses, beanie & mustache!

THE COOLEST SHOT EVER

I SHOULD RENAME THIS BLOG AND CALL IT "THE LEBRON IS THE ONLY COOL PERSON IN THE WORLD AND EVERYONE ELSE IS JUST TRYING TO BE LIKE HIM BLOG!!!!!" WARNING: THIS POST WILL BE IN ALL CAPS (KANYE WEST STYLE) BECAUSE I JUST WITNESSED THE GREATEST SHOT I HAVE EVEN SEEN IN MY WHOLE LIFE. NS;V;NA;LSNVLANRLEKNRGLKNAELKNGLANSNAE'NBAKLNASDLNVLASNDVLNA
LGNREGOR[UNQEOGNRQEGNR'LNJSVNADSNVDNSVADNSKVJSADKBVKJSABDVJBA
SNVIOAVIONLJNSDLVKNLASNDVLKNASDLVNLSADNVLKNSADLVNL'KSADN
THAT IS HOW I FEEL!!! I FOUND MYSELF STRANGELY ROOTING FOR THE MAGIC FOR A LITTLE BIT, PROBABLY BECAUSE I JUST WANTED THEM TO MAKE IT CLOSE SO LEBRON COULD DO SOMETHING AMAZING AND HE DID. I WANT THE CAVS TO PLAY AS MANY GAMES AS POSSIBLE SO I CAN CONTINUE TO WATCH THE MOST AMAZING PLAYER EVER CONTINUE TO DO SOMETHING I COULD NEVER HAVE EXPECTED. HE ABSOLUTELY DOES EVERYTHING. CRITICIZE HIM FOR NOT HITTING BIG GAME WINNERS AND HE JUST HIT THE BIGGEST GAME WINNER EVER. HE SAVED THE SERIES!!! THE MAGIC DID EVERYTHING PERFECT EVER FOR A WHILE AND HEDO, RASHARD & PIETRUS WERE THE BIGGEST BOSSES EVER, WHICH IS WHY I RESPECT AND SORT OF LIKE THEM NOW. THEY ARE THE COCKIEST DOUCHES EVER AND TURKOGLU DOESN'T CARE THAT HIS NAME IS SILLY, THAT HIS HAIR LOOKS WORSE THAN JEFF VAN GUNDY'S (STAN'S BRO), AND THAT HIS BODY LOOKS LIKE JELLO. THEY DON'T GIVE A FUCK. PIETRUS SOMEHOW CAN SORT OF GUARD LEBRON AND BLOCK HIS SHOT. I FEEL LIKE THE MAGIC WILL WIN, WHICH WOULD OBS PISS ME OFF BECAUSE THAT WOULD PREVENT LEBRON FROM PLAYING MORE GAMES, BUT YOU HAVE TO RESPECT THE MAGICIANS! BACK TO LEBRON: HOLY SHIT!!!!!! I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT. ONE SECOND, FADING AWAY, RATTLES IT HOME. HE DEFINES AMAZING. LEBRON = AMAZING. IT IS LIKE THE MOST WELL KNOWN THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. IT MAKES MORE SENSE THAN 2+2=4 AND I AM MORE SURE THAT LEBRON IS AMAZING THAN THAT THE SUN WILL RISE TOMORROW. I WANT TO SEE WHAT HE WEARS POST GAME AND TOMORROW AND THE NEXT DAY. I WISH A CAMERA WAS ON HIM AT ALL TIMES. I WANT TO KNOW IF HIS LEG STARTS TO BLEED A LITTLE BIT, MAKE SURE I KNOW THIS. LEBRON JAMES IS THE FUCKING MAN. THE CAVS SEASON WAS OVER, BUT IN ONE SECOND LEBRON CHANGED THAT AND HE HAS NO ONE ON HIS TEAM THAT SHOWS UP IN THE FOURTH TO HELP HIM, EXCEPT MO SOMETIMES LIKE THE BIG 3 HE HIT. I WOULD DO ANYTHING LEBRON EVER TOLD ME TO DO AND WILL REPLICATE ANYTHING HE EVER DOES THAT IS COOL, WHICH IS EVERYTHING. LEBRON WAS IN MY DREAM THE OTHER NIGHT AND I SOMEHOW GOT INTO HIS ENTOURAGE AND I HAD THE BEST TIME OF MY LIFE EXCEPT THAT IT WASN’T HAPPENING, BUT I’M STILL CERTAIN THAT IT WAS COOLER THAN ANYTHING I HAVE OR WILL EVER DO IN THE REAL WORLD, UNLESS LOUIS FRANK AND ALL OF KENNEBUNK IS INVOLVED. I AM WEARING CAPRI’D SWEATPANTS IN HIS HONOR FOR THE REST OF THE WEEKEND. THIS IS LEBRON’S CRAIG EHLO SHOT, BUT IT WAS SOOOO MUCH COOLER BECAUSE I GOT TO SEE IT LIVE, IT WAS MORE DIFFICULT AND BECAUSE LEBRON IS GOING TO BE BETTER THAN MJ. BOOM I SAID IT.

The Coolest Outfit Ever

LeBron pays his stylist mad duckets to make him look this cool and he does look so cool evidenced by the coolest outfit ever. His head is kind of weirdly shaped, he has a wide jaw and skinny forehead, so he looks silly in sunglasses, but he for damn sure can makes the vest and tie look cool. He unfortunately lost Game 1, although it was entertaining, but will 100% for certain win Game 2 tonight. Single-handedly if he has too.

My Man Crush on the 2009 NBA Playoffs Coolest Bro

I would like to formally announce that Cleveland Cavaliers star LeBron James is the coolest player in the 2009 NBA Playoffs. I am not sure how long this post is going to be because there are sooo many pictures & videos of LeBron that I could use as evidence backing up my claim. The Cavs are 8-0 and are by far the most dominant team in the Playoffs so far. LeBron is amazing. Everyone knew that they were going to sweep the Pistons & Hawks, but we still watched. Why? Because LeBron is always capable of doing something we have never seen before. The mind-blowing run he had against the Pistons a couple years ago where he scored 30 something points in a row on the road was just the beginning. We will see something like that this year. The dunk on KG last year in the Eastern Conference semis was unbelievable. This year however, LeBron's coolness has been so high because of things he wears, does in pre-game or practice, or what he orchestrates during lineups. I will show you as much as I can, here we go!



The underhand half court shot started it all. He does it so nonchalantly and so fucking often it is awe-inspiring. He did it on the first try, I assume, on 60 minutes. He inspired me to do it every single time I step on a basketball court and I have only made it probably twice over the past two months. It would take him five shots to make it twice. He does so many awesome and unbelievable things that I have to use my thesaurus so I don't say unbelievable and amazing every sentence. He hit the casual step back jump shot from half court at the end of a half against the Hawks this year. And recently he did this, in practice because the Cavs never lose and they have to wait for Dwight Howard and his running jump hook shattering the backboard:



I show you this shot because it is amazingly awesomely unbelievable, because he is so strong, but mainly because LeBron is wearing CAPRI'D SWEATPANTS. LeBron obviously checks both David Liss’s Facebook accounts and mine or has his stylist do it for him to learn all the latest trends. The Capri'd Sweatpants look mainly means that you cut regular sweatpants to make extremely long sweat shorts that are both comfortable because they are sweatpants (omg, so comfy) and shorts (omg, so free and comfy)!! They aren't capri pants, like what Nadal wears, which causes a lot of confusion for haters of the capri'd sweatpants look. Ex-California D-I walk-on basketball player David Liss first executed this look. Dave boldly pulled off this look while still at Cal and when his teammates would wear matching sweatsuits after games and have to greet all their friends and family and receive free cookies and Gatorades. Dave still sported this look even though he was a walk-on and DeVon Hardin probably made fun of him, but in his deepest of hearts Dave knew that this look would soon sweep the basketball world. He may have not looked cool then but he certainly does now! So, LeBron is the clear-cut coolest player of the 2009 NBA Playoffs, but David Liss's contributions should not be understated.
Back to Lebron:Although I am not the biggest proponent of any LeBron James shoe, it was a nifty idea for LeBron to have his own MVP shoe that he boldly rocked after winning the award, then destroyed the Hawks, then probably gave them to Brian Urlacher or someone famous. The LeBron VI’s came in some cool colors and some cool editions, but only LeBron got to wear them because Nike only sold the shitty colors and nobody bought them and if they did they should have immediately returned them. This is the only thing that doesn’t make sense about LeBron (except that his initials are tattooed on his triceps like everyone else in the NBA) because he wears the coolest things ever off the court especially when he accepted his MVP Award at his high school:

I guess I could include videos of him dunking and stuff or pretending to take pictures with his team before each game, but you have already seen these. The point is he is fucking amazingly cool and he has the most fun any athlete has ever had probably because he is so good at his job of putting a NBA regulation sized basketball through a hoop ten feet in the air. LeBron James is the starting Small Forward on the 2009 NBA Playoffs All-Cool Team. More players to come later when I feel like it. Players on teams that already have been eliminated are eligible unless you are French, have long hair and celebrate excessively.