My Man Crush on the 2009 NBA Playoffs Coolest Bro

I would like to formally announce that Cleveland Cavaliers star LeBron James is the coolest player in the 2009 NBA Playoffs. I am not sure how long this post is going to be because there are sooo many pictures & videos of LeBron that I could use as evidence backing up my claim. The Cavs are 8-0 and are by far the most dominant team in the Playoffs so far. LeBron is amazing. Everyone knew that they were going to sweep the Pistons & Hawks, but we still watched. Why? Because LeBron is always capable of doing something we have never seen before. The mind-blowing run he had against the Pistons a couple years ago where he scored 30 something points in a row on the road was just the beginning. We will see something like that this year. The dunk on KG last year in the Eastern Conference semis was unbelievable. This year however, LeBron's coolness has been so high because of things he wears, does in pre-game or practice, or what he orchestrates during lineups. I will show you as much as I can, here we go!



The underhand half court shot started it all. He does it so nonchalantly and so fucking often it is awe-inspiring. He did it on the first try, I assume, on 60 minutes. He inspired me to do it every single time I step on a basketball court and I have only made it probably twice over the past two months. It would take him five shots to make it twice. He does so many awesome and unbelievable things that I have to use my thesaurus so I don't say unbelievable and amazing every sentence. He hit the casual step back jump shot from half court at the end of a half against the Hawks this year. And recently he did this, in practice because the Cavs never lose and they have to wait for Dwight Howard and his running jump hook shattering the backboard:



I show you this shot because it is amazingly awesomely unbelievable, because he is so strong, but mainly because LeBron is wearing CAPRI'D SWEATPANTS. LeBron obviously checks both David Liss’s Facebook accounts and mine or has his stylist do it for him to learn all the latest trends. The Capri'd Sweatpants look mainly means that you cut regular sweatpants to make extremely long sweat shorts that are both comfortable because they are sweatpants (omg, so comfy) and shorts (omg, so free and comfy)!! They aren't capri pants, like what Nadal wears, which causes a lot of confusion for haters of the capri'd sweatpants look. Ex-California D-I walk-on basketball player David Liss first executed this look. Dave boldly pulled off this look while still at Cal and when his teammates would wear matching sweatsuits after games and have to greet all their friends and family and receive free cookies and Gatorades. Dave still sported this look even though he was a walk-on and DeVon Hardin probably made fun of him, but in his deepest of hearts Dave knew that this look would soon sweep the basketball world. He may have not looked cool then but he certainly does now! So, LeBron is the clear-cut coolest player of the 2009 NBA Playoffs, but David Liss's contributions should not be understated.
Back to Lebron:Although I am not the biggest proponent of any LeBron James shoe, it was a nifty idea for LeBron to have his own MVP shoe that he boldly rocked after winning the award, then destroyed the Hawks, then probably gave them to Brian Urlacher or someone famous. The LeBron VI’s came in some cool colors and some cool editions, but only LeBron got to wear them because Nike only sold the shitty colors and nobody bought them and if they did they should have immediately returned them. This is the only thing that doesn’t make sense about LeBron (except that his initials are tattooed on his triceps like everyone else in the NBA) because he wears the coolest things ever off the court especially when he accepted his MVP Award at his high school:

I guess I could include videos of him dunking and stuff or pretending to take pictures with his team before each game, but you have already seen these. The point is he is fucking amazingly cool and he has the most fun any athlete has ever had probably because he is so good at his job of putting a NBA regulation sized basketball through a hoop ten feet in the air. LeBron James is the starting Small Forward on the 2009 NBA Playoffs All-Cool Team. More players to come later when I feel like it. Players on teams that already have been eliminated are eligible unless you are French, have long hair and celebrate excessively.