Game 1 Thoughts

An embarrassing performance by the Magic, who looked scared shitless to be there. They had a good first quarter, but once their lead went from up five and quickly to down five, SVG had to call two timeouts and after that they sucked worse. Everyone looked scared and didn't look like they wanted to compete to come back from a double-digit deficit in the same way they did against Boston & Cleveland. The only explanation is nerves and to blame each player on the Magic team except J.J. Redick.
Before I kill everyone on the Magic through a keyboard I want to make one point. Earvin “Magic” Johnson never ever says the Orlando Magic instead he says the Orlando Magics. How is this possible when your name is Magic? Don’t you know how to say your own name? Why must you always say “Dwight Howard and the Orlando Magicsssss look like poop tonight”?
Starting with Dwight Howard, who looked ready to go with his super cool Adidas arm sleeve that no one else rocks because no one else is sponsored by Adidas. I would get one and not wear it if I didn’t think Adidas was stupid. Anyways, Dwight had one field goal and he made that bucket with a running lefty jump hook in the first quarter I believe. Dwight didn’t have a dunk and the Lakers exposed his lack of a post game. Pau flopped a couple times, Bynum hacked him a couple times, either way Dwight looked awful. For some reason there were a couple possessions where Rafer or Jameer would dump it into Dwight, the Lakers would sag off so he’d kick it out, the point guard would put it back in, he’d kick it out, they would put it back in, he’d kick it out and they would miss a three. Great offense. Dwight looks good when he squares up his defender, but after that it is complete shit. He puts his head down and commits an offensive foul or throws up garbage towards the hoop. Someone praised Patrick Ewing on the broadcast last night then Dwight never scored another field goal. Patrick Chewing makes a good commercial, but can’t teach the most athletic almost seven footer ever how to put the ball in the basket. And his touch isn’t even that bad.
Jameer played unbelievable for eight minutes, but the problem is Rafer gets jealous or can’t handle it and when he comes back in, he completely sucks. Rafer only played well last series when he played 35 minutes and even hit some open 3’s. Jameer had 4 assists in 10 seconds and hit an open jumper. It all looked good, but really he did nothing after that, especially in the second half and when everyone on the team is missing 3’s you cant rely on Jameer or Rafer to hit 3’s either. They just made everything worse by shooting 3’s and you have to expect the Lakers to keep letting them take the open shots.
I have watched pretty much every Magic game and continue to see Tony Battie get minutes and preposterously keep shooting jump shots. When in his career has Battie ever hit a jumper and why in the Playoffs is he allowed to shoot. He bricked the shit out of his two jump shots and it made me so angry. I have seen him hit ONE jumper out of FIFTEEN or so this playoffs and the one he made rattled around, came out, hit the backboard and went in. I don’t want to see another jump shot by Battie ever again, but can live with him locking down Pau.
Gortat should be starting for some team and likely will after this offseason. He finishes well around the basket, somehow hit a jump shot last night, and plays pretty good defense. The Magicssss usually don’t lose anything when he steps on the floor and were playing both him and Dwight at the same time in the fourth because Rashard was so bad.
How does Rashard go from looking like he deserves his max contract to looking like how he used to play in Seattle in one game? He sucked. Couldn’t hit a 3 or a mid range jumper and was afraid to take it to the basket and when he did he threw a lefty lay-up against the backboard really hard.
Hedo didn’t show up either after quarter number one, and when they ran the pick & roll for him, he did nothing with it. Contrarily, Kobe abused the Magic with the pick & roll.
Pietrus was worried about which shoes he should wear and then proceeded to airball 47 shots and start the game 0-5. He was of no help guarding Kobe, and thinking about it now, he was good against LeBron because he let LeBron shoot jumpers and contained him when he tried to get to the basket and even blocked some shots. He let Kobe shoot jumpers and he can’t do that obviously, and he got destroyed on every Gasol screen and never recovered.
Courtney Lee wore a stupid NBA Finals headband then proceeded to get destroyed defensively on every possession because he is a rookie and he is not at all very tall. If you play Lee you can’t play Rafer or Jameer, you have to let Hedo run the point and slow everything down, which isn’t good either because the Magic only played well out of transition.
Maybe all of this is attributed to the Lakers defense and their length, but really all the Magic need to do is get ready for the fucking game and play hard and then their shots will fall. The Magic sucked and I hope they adjust or I will have to listen to the “Kobe Bryant” Lil Wayne song on repeat for a whole month.